What Happened To Writing for the Sake of Writing?

My original plan for this post was to share this on my "experiments in life" blog- Just Being Here Now. A few months back I decided to let it go by the wayside and write about my passions and life all in one place-- right here on this blog. I've been battling with myself like crazy over the past several months about posting life lessons and other odds and ends here, because this is supposed to be a knitting blog, about the business of knitting. Well, here's the prob- it's been tough to come up with regular posts strictly about something "knitterly." I find that my most successful posts come when I talk naturally about whatever I feel excited about, and I'm always able to throw in a stitch here or there.

So where does this all leave me as a knitter who blogs? I realize that that when I write about something that excites me, it has more to with a realization about something, or about my life in general. At times, I'm guilty of trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, by always trying to find a way to exclusively write about knitting-- providing a free or for sale pattern, a tutorial, a book review, or talk about something in the industry. Honestly, I just don't want to do that all the time, and I don't think that's what my readers want either. Knitting is my passion, not talking about it 24/7.

When I think of one of my favorite blogs- Angry Chicken, she writes about how to alter a blouse and make scones in the same post. I love Amy, she's the bomb. Sure, I want to read about knitting too, but not always. When I visit a knitting blog- the kinds that I like to frequent are always much more than knitting. What a bore to go to a blog that talks about a new design and where you can buy it, and not much more personal dimension beyond that. Kristin Nicholas' blog, Getting Stitched on The Farm does this perfectly for me! I need eye candy mixed with inspiration to get me going- a really funky and colorful design, with an interesting every day story behind it. I don't need to see a tutorial. I actually don't have the patience for them, unless I've sought one out. I also want to see some behind the scenes stuff like what your design studio looks like, or the fabulous gourmet lunch you made today.

So here's a wonderful realization-- if I don't find anything particularly interesting about a blog that only focuses on one dimension, then why would I want to be that kind of blog? I know people are like me- they want to be affected by what they read. They want emotion, and real life stuff.

So this all has me thinking-- should I defunct my Just Being Here Now blog, or combine all of the day-in-a-life posts with crafty stuff all in one place. My passions are many, and I must stop writing what I "think" others want to see on my blog, and write what "I" want to see on my blog. Sheknitsintheloop as been on the board since 2002, but it's worn many different hats over the years. When I first started blogging, I wrote about anything and everything that mattered to me, and that's when people started to pay attention. When I decided to make it a "business" blog it kind of backfired. I started to try to do what others were doing because I thought that would get me a big following. I realize a big following doesn't matter. I started for one reason, and one reason alone-- Passion.

So let me back up just a little bit here, because the reason for today's "blogging realization" all stems from Leo Babauta's post: How Passion Can Transform Your Blog on from his blog Zen Habits. He lists 7 ways invoke excitement and re-ignite your blogging fires. Reading his post helped has really helped me to ask the question to myself about why I blog. Of course the idea of using it as a vehicle to help promote my business is ideal, but my objective for blogging has always been personal, and trying to force it to be something else has not been a success.

So here's what you can expect from me- You can bet that knitting is still on the hot list, but don't expect any fancy tutorials too often. You can expect some deep, and thought-provoking "experiments on life" evoked with passion to be sure.....and a few recipes too.

Don't miss tomorrow's post-- I'll be kicking off my "My 21 Day Challenge to Break a Bad Habit" -- Follow me on my quest to find the "Dharma Jewels" in every moment, and to stop creating bad karma already!

Make Every Day a Saturday

I know I'm not alone in saying that there's something special about a Saturday afternoon. Psychologically, we feel so at ease. It's a "free" day. I often ponder this "thought" phenomenon because why should Saturday feel like any other day of the week? I know most of us get up on a Monday and trudge to work, but if we're not so fond of Mondays, could it just be a bad habit in our way of thinking? I'd love to hear what others think of this. I find it amazing that I can be completely be at ease on a Saturday, only to get a little "tense" at times knowing that the tasks of the "work week" are approaching. Even though I left the 9-5 work life to strike out on my own 2 1/2 years ago, I still experience this strange feeling. I have the same mentality about the weekends that I did when I worked in the corporate world, and I know it's from years of bad programming.

There's something so light about today! Maybe it's the weather? It's a beautiful 75 degrees in St. Pete Florida. A sneak preview of the "paradise" winter to come. This day is reminiscent of the end of northern winters-the exciting first day of spring, opening the windows wide after the long oppressive winter. Same thing in Florida, but laughingly the total opposite. I feel like a spring chicken whenever the seasons change, no matter where I am. Today feels like that early spring day after a winter spent with doors and windows tightly shut, except this time-- the AC goes off, and I'm letting the sea breeze blow in! BBQ on the porch tonight!

Now, I'm gonna get a little deep here, because I always feel so connected with life when the seasons change. I feel it on such a visceral level. This overwhelming sense of gratitude comes over me because it's such a wonderful gift that lingers for just a short time.

So continuing on my sentimental journey, I always recall season's past during this time of year, and I can remember some of the events of my childhood with vivid clarity. Here's a quirky thing about me-- I always sense a different smell in the air when the season go through their new cycle, and I always remember my youth. So, that explains my mushy, sentimentality this time of year. Maybe I'm just a little strange, and I've made this all up, but I know there's something a little different in the air today.

This day has also provoked step back from my usual wanting-to-do-anything-and-everything-mode. My brain never seems to stop, and the tasks of this life never end. As I arrived home this afternoon after my morning of errands, I stopped in my tracks and thought quite casually- just stop "doing," and do what comes naturally. Sure, for many of us, easier said than done. But it seemed so simple to me. So freeing actually. It wasn't a hard thing to wrap my brain around today. The tasks of my life are like the never-ending waves of the ocean, and it's silly to keep going on this path feeling like "stuff" needs to get done. I've got some news for all you work junkies like me-- There will never be enough time to do everything you want to do, and you WON'T cross everything off your to do list. Why not end your day feeling like a success? If you have more to do tomorrow, think of it as job security! On my death bed, the "to-do's" won't be of benefit to me, or to anyone for that matter.

Ok, now here's where some of you may think I'm going morbid, but if you really think about it our lives are like a lightening flash in the sky. We can't assume that we have 80-ish years on this earth. My goal is to live my life with the thought that I'm here for a short time. Each day, when I wake up, and I plant my foot on the floor out of bed- I'm one step closer to the end of my life, so why do I want to waste it on mundane things? This puts life into a whole new perspective doesn't it?

Now off with you......go snuggle on the couch with your knitting and make that cardigan for yourself that you've been putting off!

Not Knowing

Not Knowing
Zen Master Jizo said that “not knowing is the most intimate thing.” Not knowing means to be open to all eventualities, to not prejudge a person or situation. If your mind is full of preconceived notions, there is no room for an unbiased view. It is like when your hands are full of objects—you cannot pick up anything new. A closed mind causes separation and suspicion. Like an umbrella, a mind is only useful when it is open.

From "Zen in the Workplace: Approaches to Mindful Management," Tricycle, Summer 1996

Read this Daily Dharma on tricycle.com.

I get these little tidbits in my inbox each morning, and I can't wait to read them. They're short and sweet, and straight to the point. Just how I like them! This one really resonates with me, because when I find myself getting impatient, or wishing for an answer to something, I repeat a Rumi quote in my head over and over- "Cultivate Not Knowing." For some reason, those 3 little words work wonders for me because I tend to micromanage everything....especially when it comes to my business life. These days, I'm juggling lots of different things at once- illustration projects, book editing, and last but not least, my knitwear design work. This last category of my business, ranks up there pretty high, and it's one that I even think about in my sleep it seems. I'm always conjuring up new designs. Just when I think I've nailed down the perfect projects, I think of more and more, until finally I'm so confused, my head spins. Am I the only person guilty of this? Does anyone ever get kinda blue because they have so many ideas that will never be completed in a lifetime? Not a bad problem to have!

So my biggest challenge is to nail down what I'm going to do, and realize that I'm just one person, and there's only 24 hours in a day. I've decided it's time to get back to my roots and come up with some fun accessories just time time for the Holidays. I can remember the good old days when I started designing, and I couldn't make enough hats! I would sit on the couch and whip one up in an hour--easily!

So now, it's about choosing the right mix, right? So here's the deal: (at least for today) I'm working on some cute little bags, with my first a cute little felted bag that is drying as I write this. Can't wait to unveil it in a couple of days! Then, some scarves and hats for kids adults. Then, just in time for the TNNA spring show in January, a few new dresses for girls. For a time I felt guilty about the idea of designing stuff for girls, since I have my little London who is the cat's meow, but I just can't help myself! I must design something flowery!

So back to now knowing.....My "manager" side says- put it all down on paper and decide how many designs and what kind will be created between now and the end of December. Then, my heart says to work on whatever comes naturally this month, but have a general idea for the theme, and then when next month comes, figure out the next plan of action. Somehow this seems like a scatter brain idea to me because I must always "hold the oars." Maybe it's time to let them go, and trust that my intention is already out there, knowing that some magical things are underway!

Soulpancake

This is not a something-about-knitting post, but I think it's fitting, based on my interest in being a knitter-arty-spiritual person. As I was writing my last post on neckline shaping dilemmas, I was also listening to one of my favorite daily podcasts- Oprah.com's Spirit Channel. Today's podcast features Rainn Wilson, and his new website Soulpancake. Where creativity meets spirituality as he describes the site. His approach is interesting- he says your art, your creativity is your spirituality. So upon hearing this, it makes sense to write a little here about how this ties into my love for knitting.


When I knit, I can't think of a better way to connect with myself. Sure, I do yoga and I meditate--two things I consider very important in life. Just as important as eating and sleeping in my book. But when it comes to knitting, there is something very special that I'm able to tap into that just doesn't happen in many other ways. As Rainn Wilson states, when you're taping into creativity it's like being in touch with God, Buddha, the Universe..whatever you want to call it, or like the act itself is "God." Never thought I could find God in two sticks and yarn? Pretty good stuff.

I think Soulpancake might be a cool new place to check out for a new perspective on spirituality. In my Just Being Here Now blog, I write so often about my own "path," and think that having a new more "mainstream" outlet is great. At some point, it seems that this may turn into a "My Space" for spiritual seekers. I guess we'll see.

Om, Om, click, click.......

Living With Flexibility

I just managed to take the quickest shower ever in between London's "hopeful" nap. Not a chance though....as soon as I turned off the faucet, I could hear his little cries. In between his little catnaps today, I managed to catch a bit of Wayne Dyer's: Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life. I couldn't have turned this on at a better moment. As I was sitting rocking London- he said: "There's a time for everything- a time for the kids to misbehave, or things to not go as you would like, and then there's a time for things to go right." He also spoke a lot about living with flexibility. I don't need to hear someone tell me that being flexible is important.....but hearing it helped zap me back to reality. This all makes me realize that I still haven't stopped trying to organize....and reorganize my life. I keep making all of my little "lists," only to fall short each day on a few items. Instead of feeling like I can "go with the flow," I tend to end each day on a slightly negative note, thinking that I just didn't get everything done. In turn, it makes me feel like I've failed. What a crazy thing I do to myself! I'm the only person who makes me feel like I've failed, and I set myself up for this each day.

Logically, I realize I micromanage myself, and if I continue to do this, I will always feel like I've failed myself. When I put away my calendars and planners I surprise myself, because things still get done. Go figure.

As Wayne Dyer said it best today: "Conquer Without Striving," and another favorite of mine- "Cultivate Not Knowing." As I sit in meditation, this is usually my regular mantra...not knowing when the bell will chime, telling me meditation is over. It's about not grasping, or looking ahead to what's next. It's about being totally present. When I'm present, of course I'm the happiest. When I'm looking behind or forward, I get anxious and frustrated, so why continue such silliness?

Settling Into Stillness

This morning I headed out to the beach with blankie, yoga mat and knitting in hand. As I was gearing up, that little voice that creeps up was trying to once again talk me out of going on my little morning excursion.


Why think such thoughts? Well, for those of you like me, we get caught up in the "I should's" mind game. At times, I can't seem to get rid of the 9-5 mentality. That feeling that I've got to be "busy" and "on the clock" during certain certain times of the day.

Logically, I know those days are long gone when I bounce myself back to reality and remind myself that on most days I'm up at 5 a.m. and by noon, I've gotten a full day's work in just when most are starting up. And at other times, I may suddenly become inspried to work at 10 in the evening, losing myself in my work, only to realize that it might be 1 in the morning when I'm ready to close the day.

I continually try to remind myself about why I embarked out on own. I wanted to create a different life for myself. Go by the beat of my own drum....create my own blueprint to life. I didn't want to punch that clock! But there are those times when I cannot get that old worker bee mentality out of my head.

Taking 30 minutes every day to work on myself feeds my spirit. So here I am, trying to take it one day at a time, settling into my stillness.

Graditude

I took along my knitting with me this morning to the beach, hoping to get in a few stitches. I found a bench, which I never noticed before. It almost seemed that it was put there just for me, nestled amongst the sea oats!

I didn't get to my knitting, which is just fine. I just figured I'd bring it along as my "safety blanket." I just can't seem to walk out the door without some sort of sticks and thread!

Last night, as I was about to go to bed, my mind started racing about a great new laptop bag idea out of this great new Malabrigo color that I found. I quickly sketched a thumbnail so I wouldn't forget, then this morning I jumped out of bed in the hopes of getting to work on my swatch. "First things first" I told myself, because my first intention upon waking this morning was to simply come down to the beach with the latest book I'm reading: "Left to Tell" by Imacluee Ilibagiza. I wish I could buy everyone in my life this book!

After spending about a half hour of reading, I looked around myself and felt a rush of gratitude for the the many great things in my life: my family, finding the love of my life, having passions, and the precious talents that God has blessed me with, and allowed me the joy to experience. Let me tell you....life is good.

"Write your intentions in the sand for what you wish for today, because tomorrow they will be washed away."

This makes me think of the impermanence of life, and how lucky are we to be able to make choices for what we want each day! If we fail to take this opportunity, it will be gone!

We CAN choose to be happy, or we can choose to stay stuck. A friend recently gave me a little blue colored stone that I now keep close to me on my desk as I work each day. To me, this represents the "choice," and the "water of impermanence," and to the daily commitment to choose to be happy, and to live every moment on purpose.